THE REALITY SALESMAN CALLS

 

THE REALITY SALESMAN CALLS

 

by Jon Rappoport

 

SEPTEMBER 24, 2011. Step right up, folks. This is a deal you can’t afford to miss. You know that thing you cling to like a drowning man in a turbulent sea?

 

It’s called reality, and I represent the company that manufactures it. I’m proud to say I’ve held this job for over a hundred thousand years. So as far as product knowledge is concerned, you just aren’t going to find anybody like me.

 

Some folks believe reality is rocks and trees and desert and sun and rain, and the brick and concrete and steel and glass of buildings, the mountain ranges, the sky, the moon and the stars. They believe reality is a house and all the things in it, and the mementos you hold on to, like photos and dolls and so on, to remind you of the past. And cars and streets.

 

But I’m really selling…guess what? A little thing called perception. It sounds odd, but that’s what it is.

 

How you see things, and what you think about what you see.

 

Because to tell you the truth, no matter what time period you live in, whether you live on Earth or another planet, it all comes down to that. How you see what’s in front of you.

 

And believe it or not, perception comes in different forms. My company makes the perception that endures. It’s the package you’re living with right now. It’s the down-to-earth here-it-is straight-ahead common-sense type. We call it: IT IS WHAT IT IS. That’s trademarked, by the way. ISWIS. It is what it is.

 

ISWIS was invented by a very smart guy whose name has been long forgotten. He was a genius, and he realized something great. People would go for ISWIS because it would lock them in.

 

Do you see? People didn’t want a wobbling here-and-there kind of perception. Who wants to wake up on a Tuesday morning and suddenly see life in a completely different way? Who wants that kind of shock to the system?

 

We have a famous statement here at the office. A TABLE IS A TABLE AND CHAIR IS A CHAIR. It sums up our whole attitude. If you bump your toe on the leg of a table, you feel it. Your toe doesn’t go through it, for God sakes. It’s a table. If it weighs thirty pounds on Monday, it weighs thirty pounds on Tuesday. It looks the same day after day. You can count on it. And that’s a function of how you see it.

 

I’m just giving you the straight story. You could buy a package that would give you a whole different table. In which case, your toe might pass right through that sucker—and then where would you be? I’ll tell you. You’d be one confused puppy. You don’t want to see a table that way, do you? Of course not. You don’t want to THINK something and have the table jump up off the carpet and hover in the air, do you?

 

Well, ISWIS takes care of all that for you. That’s why it’s the most popular perception package in the universe, bar none. Reliability. Consistency.

 

All those centuries and epochs ago, when I was a rookie training for this job, the guys let me try on a whole bunch of different perception packages, so I could see what I was up against, as far as our competitors went. I saw things I wouldn’t want to describe to you. Horrible things. And finally, when I was given ISWIS, our product, I felt like I was home.

 

I know. You’re asking, “Well, how were you seeing before you went into training for the company? What package were you sporting then?” That, my friends, is another whole story I might tell you another time. Right now, I’m focusing on ISWIS, because it’s my job and because I’m so proud of my track record. Justifiably so.

 

Anyway, ISWIS gives you the kind of stability you can count on for your whole life. And, believe me, that’s no small feat. We’ve built slow decay (SD) into the package, so things gradually deteriorate and give you a sense of even more consistency—because, think about it, do you really want that tree in your back yard to stay at one stage of growth forever? Do you? It might seem like a nice idea, but it would screw up the need for replacement, and then you’d get into the whole conundrum of THE BODY, too, and how long it should last. People like to think they want physical immortality, but if you give it to them (via some other package), they go crazy after a while. Because their problems, as well as their triumphs, never go away. I could show you a little planet where the inhabitants went for one of our competitor’s products. The suicide rate is over seventy percent! The place is a nuthouse!

 

ISWIS is time-tested. It’s as solid as solid can be made. It doesn’t break down.

 

But it does need boosters from time to time, and that’s why I’m here today talking to you.

 

Every twenty thousand years, we institute a planet-wide upgrade, just to make sure nothing breaks down. And you’re all due.

 

Now, you could refuse, in which case you take full responsibility for what happens, or you could do the right thing and just re-up. I have to tell you, our re-up rate is 99.859 percent. I’m proud of that figure.

 

By the way, the leftovers, the holdouts, the deniers, the self-styled rebels? The governments of your planet keep track of you. I feel obligated to let you know that. They assume they need to. Worse comes to worst, and your ISWIS breaks down, you’re going to fail to fit in. Most definitely you’re going to experience some things other people just won’t understand. You’re going to feel you’re in the outer darkness—and then who knows what you’ll do? So to preempt that, your governments will hunt you down and lock you up, or worse.

 

That’s not my doing, because I believe in the free market, but it’s part of my service to clue you into the whole picture.

 

But here is the good part. You can get your booster now, during our pre-op special, by simply signing for it and taking the pledge, and paying a mere sixty percent of of your annual income for the rest of your lives. Which when you think about it, is nothing for what you’re getting. Again, reliability, and consistency.

 

The pledge, which involves a few details concerning IMAGINATION, is for your own protection—because if you take imagination too far (and who knows how far that is, until it’s too late), you’ll set up what we call an interference field, which means that ISWIS will tend to malfunction. You don’t want that.

 

But you DO want a reason, a good reason to stick with ISWIS all the way. That’s just human psychology. You see things the way you do, because of our package, and therefore reality is what it is and nothing else—and you want to feel good about that. So you need a reason, a story, a good story that convinces you you’re doing the right thing. We know that from our market research, our profiling.

 

Well, the pledge IS your reason and your story. You take an oath, and then you hold your imagination in check. That’s exactly what you pledge to do.

 

We take the pledge very seriously, and to make sure you do, too, we have a little kicker. If you begin to imagine and invent and create beyond a certain degree of intensity (which is something we can track), we make a house call.

 

You don’t want to experience a house call. Some very bad things can happen during the course of one of those. I’ve been there, trust me.

 

And finally, I know some of you hearing me talk today are wondering whether I’m giving you the straight scoop or whether everything I’m telling you is just one big lie. I know that. I’ve been around.

 

You’re listening to me and you’re thinking, “This guy could be just another salesman. He could be conning me.”

 

Yeah, I’m used to that. But you see, I’ve got an ace in the hole. So it doesn’t matter to me whether you believe me or not. You want to know what my ace is?

 

You people, with a few exceptions, are always looking for something scary to explain why you’re not all you could be. Understand? You’re always searching and rooting around for something to blame your “situation” on. You want that. You always want to fall back on it. It’s your Plan B. You’re not all you can be because some “negative thing” keeps popping up and putting its hand around your throat. You love that. You really do. You’re into it. And, well, I’m that guy. I’m the scary guy who just walked through the door. So you’ll end up buying my sales pitch, whether you like it or not, because you need your excuse. You need it like a junkie needs his drug. Therefore, I’m not worried. I’m not worried a bit. You want me. You need me. I’m the boogie man. I’m the guy you can invoke, like some kind of religious figure, when you need to.

 

You can say, “I want to take my imagination out to an infinite degree, but I’m not going to do it, because bad things could happen, and because I need the salesman, he’s my life raft, and I also need ISWIS so I can keep seeing reality just like I’m seeing it now.”

 

I’ve got you.

 

You and your excuses.

 

The truth is—there is no ISWIS, and I’m not a salesman, and nothing bad will happen to you if you use your imagination infinitely, and if you do, you’ll eventually see that universe and reality are simply a product of mind and you’ll be able to change them, and you’ll do magic.

 

But how many of you want to give up your fall-back position and your addiction to explaining things by invoking scary forces?

 

Yeah. That’s what I thought. So you see, I can sell you ISWIS even though it doesn’t exist, and I can collect my commission on and on and on, even though I’m not a salesman. And you’ll buy it.

 

So here’s the contract and the pledge, and they’re completely phony, and sign on the dotted line, and pay the fee, and we’re done.

 

Thank you very much.

 

www.nomorefakenews.com

qjrconsulting@gmail.com