To Trump: how to win the war in Afghanistan

To Trump: how to win the war in Afghanistan

by Jon Rappoport

August 28, 2017

Win the war in Afghanistan? Impossible, you say?

Dear Mr. Trump: it can be done, I assure you.

There is a pattern. It’s tried and true. It’s been tested in America for decades. So let’s rely on this accumulated wisdom and put it to good use. Finally.

Ready?

Buckle up. This doesn’t need an executive summary. It isn’t a position paper. It’s an all-out attack. Let’s roll!

From hundreds of planes, drop fast food all over Afghanistan. Burgers. Fishsticks. McMuffins. Legs, breasts, wings—two weeks of chicken done right. It’s a good intro. Lightens everybody up a little. Hey, they’ve been cooking vulture over yak excrement for centuries. They’ll love the change. And the numerous chemicals in the food will begin to slow them down. That’s a given.

Then, from those same planes—candy! Fifty thousand tons of gum drops, jelly beans, Almond Joy, Reese. Hell, Reese all by itself is unstoppable.

Sugar! You’re telling me people can resist sugar? They’ll be scooping that stuff up off the frozen ground. In high mountain areas, tribes live on lichen. All of a sudden, here come 20 colors of Reaganesque jelly beans out of the sky!

Give them enough sugar, and they’ll be running in circles one minute and lying back and napping the next. It’s chemical determinism.

A month of heavenly candy.

Then next, a million cases of various diet sodas dumped out of our planes. Aspartame! Weird those dudes out. Three months, and they won’t be able to find their way back to their yurts. They’ll be bumping into rocks and trees, howling at the moon.

Now comes the heavy action. It takes a little longer. After installing an Afghan wireless grid, carpet bomb the joint with cell phones and iPads. Beam in Soaps, Judge Judy, Rachel Ray, Fallon and Colbert, Oprah, Little House on the Prairie reruns, Law and Order, and yes—sports! Soccer, and, of course, women’s beach volleyball! Kidding me? Amazons wearing G-strings running and leaping on sand, hour after hour?

“Hey, dude, it’s time for the Friday night tribe meeting.”

“Shh! First, two hours of Hermosa Beach Women’s Finals. Then Victoria and Billy just adopted a baby. She can’t have kids. Billy paid two million for a little girl. But it’s actually Daisy’s baby. Nobody knows it.”

The fabric of Afghan society comes apart at the seams.

US planes fly over with a few million cases of Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, and Ritalin. Open the bomb-bay doors. Drop those suckers right down the slot. And tranqs! Valium! Old stocks of Librium. Opioids.

On the ground, pills and capsules everywhere. You can’t walk by without picking a few up and swallowing them. It’s another law of nature.

You’ve got the whole country hooked on meds. They’re weaving and wobbling and gnashing their teeth, when they aren’t completely zoned. A suicide problem begins to develop.

And finally comes the coup de grace. Porn programming! Linda Lovelace, Marilyn Chambers, Amber Lynn, John Holmes, Ron Jeremy, Suzi Suzuki, Rick Masters. The classics.

Dudes in Kabul and up in the Hindu Kush are eating Butterfingers, downing Zoloft, and getting their vicarious porn freak on. A certain amount of internecine murder is expected, to say nothing of what happens when the WOMEN get hold of the porn files for their own private viewing…

All this, in a matter of a year or two, will totally destroy the Afghan culture, such as it is. You see, Mr. Trump, we’ve got weapons we didn’t know we had. Real weapons!

So we let all this simmer for a while. We let things take their natural course. We’re already out of there. Not a single US casualty is being sustained.

And then, just to make sure we have the entire country enveloped and warped beyond repair, the CIA begins to beam, through all those cell phones and iPads—take a deep breath—ready?—the AFGHAN HOME SHOPPING NETWORK!

Boom!

Oh yes, Mr. Trump, where there’s a will, there’s a way. The Afghan people don’t have money? They’ll find money! They’ll sell each other if they have to! They’ll pawn their old muskets and CIA supplied weapons and take out second mortgages on their shacks and huts and yurts.

The Afghan Home Shopping Network won’t be denied. Shampoos, soap on a rope, shower caps, earrings, toe rings, rugs, couches, square-dance instruction CDs, food storage containers, kitchen knives, scarves, fans, belts, undies, shelving, shoes, pet food, bird houses, pot holders, battery-operated hair dryers, perfume, books on tape, storage containers, stockings, lipstick, eye shadow, bathrobes, bracelets…

Victory.

Absolute conquest.

And not a shot fired.

And after the whole population has developed MAJOR symptoms from this all-out campaign, send in the doctors and the shrinks, so they can diagnose! Diagnose diseases and illnesses and disorders from here to Sunday—and they’ll prescribe more toxic drugs! And vaccines, of course, which push compromised immune systems over the edge of the cliff.

It’s a party.

America does to the Afghans what it’s done to itself.

Because you see, that’s the pattern. America knows it intimately, because America has bought into it.

America is already that kind of society. Who better to impose it on another population?

There you have it, Mr. Trump. Bang-bang. The formula and the game plan for an ultimate takedown.

Throughout history, no one has ever really won a war in Afghanistan.

You’ll be the first.

You can preen and swagger and congratulate yourself.

You can declare victory.

Your generals may not like it, but who cares? They won’t be able to deny the outcome.

And Congress? Hardly worth a mention.

They’re already drugged to the gills with prescription meds, right?

You like slam-dunks, don’t you, Mr. Trump?

This is the big one.

Big, bigger, biggest.


Exit From the Matrix

(To read about Jon’s mega-collection, Exit From The Matrix, click here.)


Jon Rappoport

The author of three explosive collections, THE MATRIX REVEALED, EXIT FROM THE MATRIX, and POWER OUTSIDE THE MATRIX, Jon was a candidate for a US Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. He maintains a consulting practice for private clients, the purpose of which is the expansion of personal creative power. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics, health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world. You can sign up for his free NoMoreFakeNews emails here or his free OutsideTheRealityMachine emails here.

33 comments on “To Trump: how to win the war in Afghanistan

  1. JoAnn Dolberg says:

    Oh my Gosh, Jon, this one is classic!

  2. Greg C. says:

    Hey, if it works to keep the U.S. under control, it can work anywhere.

  3. flyinggabriel says:

    So the US has non-nuke WMD’s. I knew it.
    Quick – alert the UN.

  4. swo8 says:

    I love it – bomb them with candy and fast food.
    Leslie

  5. MrDuncmck says:

    What a templet !! this validates the old saying when your out of place you “feel like a turd in a punch bowl”
    thanks..i still float though? awesome a classic..

  6. Jennifer says:

    Oh, funny, Jon, and how so true.

    The Good Book, “The Golden Reed” states, “Nations, and peoples, may be defeated in a show of force, but they can never be conquered except by reason. … When one nation defeats another nation by the use of greater force, all the nations of the World are warned, and prepare to meet that force with a greater force. Thus there is born a monster that grows, and grows through fear, until it depletes, and impoverishes all the nations, of the Earth, before it dies for lack of strength, or opposition. Nation after nation is defeated in turn, and greater, and more devastating weapons are devised in the struggle for greater force for conquest, in what is referred to as survival. But there is not hope for conquest, for all force is derived from the same source of power, and any nation that is stupid enough to be provoked into the struggle, can draw on this main source of power. Only the meek, who refuse to enter into the hopeless contest, can hope to win, and inherit the spoils, which is the Earth.” “And the Meek shall inherit the Earth.”

    Delamer Duverus told us that to evolve as a species we must not be a threat to anyone or anything. “Blessed are the peacemakers.”

  7. Sunshine says:

    American pilots did actually drop candy from planes over Germany during the Second World War.

  8. Even coffee/tea/Pepsi/chocolate drinkers/eaters are, technically speaking, drug addicts! Therefore, together with all of the alcohol/pain killers/sleeping pills/prescription drugs, the USA is a nation of people hopelessly addicted to drugs!

  9. This is absolutely brilliant! Please…OH PLEASE… Re enact this in a YouTube video. Please!

  10. Very, very clever. I just wonder if Trump is listening…….

  11. From Quebec says:

    Jon, you will never cease to amaze me.

    You mean like ANTIFA and Black Lives matters are doing right now, destroying their own country, because they are so whacked out ?

  12. Michael says:

    I know your piece is fictional and therefore presented for humor sake…lord knows I need a laugh. And I find it funny in the darkest of ways JR.

    But you see there is no war in Afghanistan right now, it’s an illusion to keep money flowing there… War has been over for quite a while. Nest ce pas… and now that the generals have taken over the White House and Eric “the dark” Prince is geared for the possibility of a sub-contracted military presence in Afghanistan. That is sold on the premise of saving American lives in the process and who knew you could run a Merc on what a billy-goat eats; that kind of army would be a lot less costly and professional, since its their job and they count on the pay cheque. Rather than being called up.

    The heightened possibility of maybe 82,000 sets of boots in Afghanistan. Maybe the first sub-contracted military in American history, who knew…my God, war as a business and an industry that is piecemealed out to bidders. Any old psychopath could sign up and get a pay cheque, splating wogs or rag heads, or sand niggers. Eric Prince is starting to look like the antichrist with all that military power he holds and might potentially hold in the future, learing out on the world from his Hong Kong high rise. Who would a subcontracted army holding allegiance for? America, or the one signing the cheque…hmmm. Plus Eric’s little company would expand greatly. And stock value…wowser.

    The Taliban have tried to surrender Jon, a couple of times, but it seems the US military won’t have it, they have refused to except surrender…way too much fuckin money to be made. The Taliban are not allowed to surrender. Will not be allowed to surrender.

    Most Taliban have pack up and moved to Pakistan or went home to family farm to grow poppies. Only to be ratted out and having to run for the mountains for protection and cover.  Not for the poppy growing, but for being a Taliban who won’t fight. Furthering the need for a MOAB.

    The Prince of darkness, Eric Prince is drooling as I type this stream of consciousness; his company stock could go through the roof. Military hardware and armaments companies stock is really the only mover and shaker on Wall street these days. And legitimately the only real employer in America. Everything else is disposable jobs.

    No real jobs are coming back to America, so anybody who is hoping for that day, get over it! It would cost far too much money to come back to America and set up shop again. And now with expensive healthcare, and safe places needed for triggered employees, and days off for Antifa meetings. And starting wages for employees wanting the moon and stars, and “oh, by the way, my mom needs to talk to you first, before I start work.” It war from now on in…that were real money is, culling the herd. Private armies.

    Afghanistan is won, has been won, the place is the largest poppy growing plantation on the fucking planet Jon. And with the escalating needs for opioids by Big Pharma and the average American medical drug user, and street user. Heroin is cheaper than weed these days. You should know all this…how many prescriptions written last year for opioids in Ohio…seven hundred and how many thousand. And that is one state.

    The lithium deposits in Afghanistan are the finest in the world; these alone can fuel the gigantic need for batteries for gadgets and portable power supplies. And is easily enough to herald in the singularity. There is money to be made, any decent Taliban will have invested in his future, and if you can’t beat them; you simply have to join them.

    The place is reeking in rare earths and is so resource rich, it could fuel two more wars. Which it will, one in Iran and one possibly in North Korea.

    The war for now is over Jon and it’s time to make money. No need to send jellybeans.

    Can you make money at jellybeans?

    Of course with new tech ways of making beef-in-a-lab, this less costly copy is heralding in the upstart of fast food industry again…with the new battle cry. “It’s even cheaper folks! Which could be a possibility for Afghanistan. “Try are new-lab grown Angus swiss cheese McMuffin burger, betcha can’t tell the difference. It’s too fun.” Maybe they could come up with a new one. The Taliban burger, it’s like a little bomb. it blows up and splats ketcup and mustard all over your face. Isn’t that fun, good gosh almighty, I am starting to warm up.The ideas are starting to flow.

  13. Sha'Tara says:

    That would work, and at a fraction of the current cost of losing an endless war and endlessly losing face. Good one. Probably should have said, “It’s the Biggly” One” though.

  14. Sha'Tara says:

    Reblogged this on ~Burning Woman~ and commented:
    Two Rappoport reblogs in a row? Well, couldn’t pass this one up: Jon clearly explains to Donard Trump how to finally win the war in Afghanistan. Funny thing is, though tongue in cheek, it would work!!! I mean, it works in Canada. The US totally owns this counrty without (hardly ever) firing a shot on, or in, it – and when they did, circa 1812, it kinda backfired. No, they won with pop, fast foods, Big Pharma, down-graded education, Reaganomics, intimidation, clunky cars, Rock n’Roll and false camaraderie of political handshakes behind the next pipeline. Yup, it works, and will work, no matter who it’s done for. Wonder if our playboy prime minister “Trudump” would agree?

  15. Sara says:

    You forgot the vaccines.. Especially for the pregnant women and babies right after birth.

  16. PJ London says:

    Oh dear Jon, you forgot your history.
    It was the Taliban’s refusal to turn Afghanistan into a little America that started the war in the first place. They turned down a ‘Carpet of Gold’ and received the promised ‘Carpet of Bombs’ instead.
    Their huge mistake was to believe that the US and the UN really wanted to eradicate the Opium and Heroin production. Things were OK until the Taliban actually destroyed the Poppy fields (and got paid for it, no less), thereby depriving the CIA of it’s revenue and the US of it’s recreational drug of choice.
    “According to a December 17, 1997 article in the British paper, The Telegraph, headlined, “Oil barons court Taliban in Texas,” the Taliban was about to sign a “$2 billion contract with an American oil company to build a pipeline across the war-torn country. … ‘
    April 2001 The Guardian Newspaper.
    “But this year things are different. In a development that has gone unnoticed and unrewarded by the international community, Afghanistan’s fundamentalist Taliban rulers have dramatically ended the country’s massive opium trade.”

    • Michael says:

      PJ London, what a wonderful name…

      Bingo!
      You get a gold star…now proceed to the front of the class. And you get an extra five minutes at recess.

      I’ll bet your a vegetarian…at a minimum a ketogenicist. Yes your ketos are up…are you fasting?
      You’re running that big brain on fat, instead of carbohydrates like the rest of us. Arn’t you. Definitely vegetables in there somewhere.

      Garbage in, garbage out they say…

      The image of fearsome bearded Taliban warriors with their Crimean Brownings by their side, sitting on authentic Louis XIII baroque settees in some Texans dude ranch is to be experienced. Off course they were Gods warriors then, the fearless and devote Mujahideen.
      Ninjas of the desert, strangle you with your own shoelaces.
      It’s way way over the top. Wouldn’t ya say….Something that fell of a Dali. Surreal.
      The visuals…

      • PJ London says:

        Unlike you I actually research the comments I make
        Hint Quotation marks mean that I am actually quoting.

        ‘Back in Houston, the Taliban was learning how the “other half lives,” and according to The Telegraph, “stayed in a five-star hotel and were chauffeured in a company minibus.” The Taliban representatives “…were amazed by the luxurious homes of Texan oil barons. Invited to dinner at the palatial home of Martin Miller, a vice-president of Unocal, they marvelled at his swimming pool, views of the golf course and six bathrooms.” Mr. Miller, said he hoped that UNOCAL had clinched the deal.’

        So your childish rants are meaningless. Unless it is to amuse the children.

        Clearly you have never met a ‘Taliban’ probably never studied the region or history.
        May I suggest :

        ‘If your officer’s dead and the sergeants look white,
        Remember it’s ruin to run from a fight:
        So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
        And wait for supports like a soldier.
        Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .

        When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
        And the women come out to cut up what remains,
        Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
        An’ go to your Gawd like a soldier.
        Go, go, go like a soldier,
        Go, go, go like a soldier,
        Go, go, go like a soldier,
        So-oldier of the Queen!’

        from A Young British Soldier by Rudyard Kipling.

        Of course, you would prefer to sit in Omaha and play with your drones.
        Sad, really sad.

        • Michael says:

          Ah lighten up, I was having fun with ya

          You have taken what I said as, what? As insult?…it seems you have no sense of humor…get out from under the bed and stop being such a big Nelly. There was no insult.

          I was commenting on how bright your comment was P J in a light-hearted fashion…childish rants you say lol. I can see the child is dead inside of you. And once it leaves…there no more Santa Claus for you.

          Research? Lol Taliban? Lol

          I do know you Americans fellas are guarding the poppies in Afghanistan, and the Taliban irradicated them just after 911. We may not like them, (the Taliban) but they don’t like heroin. Why are American soldiers guarding Opium poppies do ya think.? Here’s a better question, why would any decent honorable soldier guard poppies for Washington?

          “Of course, you would prefer to sit in Omaha and play with your drones.

          Sad, really sad.”

          What are you talking about P J?

          The last part of your Internet handle should be Pajamas…P J Pajamas, not PJ London. Say it a few times…see it works better huh.

          Why would I want to go and sit in Omaha of all places. And play with drones. I’m in Canada, beautiful northern Canada. Dr

          Kipling! you quote me Kipling, you quote me words from a master Mason…

          “Tho’ I’ve belted you and flayed you,

          By the livin’ Gawd that made you,

          You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!”

          The author of Gunga Din…and the scrivener who verbosely wrote “Into the breach, and The last of the Light Brigade”  He was that twit that Cecil Rhodes was doing the nasty with, when he was in Capetown. I was almost positive Kipling was Cecil Rhodes cabana boy…maybe he was Milner’s. Anyway… He would get all oiled up and sit around the Cecil’s pool with Alfred Milner and the rest, drinking tea, served by wogs, and ya gotta beat them everyday. Writing his stiff upper lip Johnny verses about being part of the Anglo-American establishment. He got scared in Afghanistan too. I think they buggered him there.

          • PJ London says:

            I am terribly sorry, I thought that this was an adult blog, where ‘big’ people could exchange ideas. I did not realise that Christopher Robin allowed Winnie to play on the keyboard.
            An infantile obsession with name calling and sex, now I realise why Winnie was called ‘the Pooh’.
            I have an excellent sense of humour thank you.
            But I am worried about the Canadians :
            A fellow moved into a cabin in the backwoods of Alberta, his nearest neighbour 25 miles further down the logging road.
            After about 3 months the neighbour, 6’6″ 280 lbs arrives on his doorstep.
            “Hi dere neybor, I wus tinking of having a party and wanted to invite you. Tomorrow night OK?”
            “Sure, will there be drinking?”
            “Sure plenty drinking”
            “Will there be any fighting?”
            “Sure probably plenty fighting”
            “Will there be sex?’
            “For sure plenty sex”
            “OK I will be coming, how many people are you expecting?”
            “Just the two of us.”
            See I do have sense of humour and like you I am fixated on homosexuality.
            Should you have any further comments about the article rather than the personalities of commenters, please feel free to share them with me.

            • Michael says:

              Lol Wow your really serious about this adult thing..

              Good joke, very funny…see, there ya go, now your having fun

              “fixated on homosexuality” hahahahah…that was great. Hilarious lol

              “Should you have any further comments about the article rather than the personalities of commenters, please feel free to share them with me.”….

              Ah, rules….the relationship is breaking down already and we just met. Next you’ll want the cabin and the dog. I can’t live like this…this..this is opppression.

  17. Claude Genest says:

    Brilliant !

  18. roy downes says:

    pleased to note that you also like suzi suzuki. 😛

  19. Are you suggesting a CIA black op to inundate a country with narcotics like heroin and oxycodone which originated from that same countries’ US military-guarded poppy fields in order to fund CIA black ops like inundating countries with narcotics like heroin…

    Oh, just the greatest recursive irony of ironies.

    • arcadia11 says:

      that is too funny.

    • PJ London says:

      Yes, and now they can enjoy the wonderful experience of a CIA operated colour revolution. Is it not even more ironic, that after the green and red and yellow revolutions, they have chosen ‘Black’ for good ole US of A.
      Not so exceptional after all, or maybe after their failure in Syria, they felt need to prove something. Let’s see if the Americans are as resilient as the Syrians.
      Good Luck.

  20. Larry says:

    You are a heartless BASTARD, Rappoport!

  21. mehmood mayet says:

    Trump must dispatch all of US ground troops there and encourage the Europeans to help out in this noble cause. Cost and casualties are worth the price , even when it bankrupts America

  22. derekjohnfelton says:

    Lol ! Brilliant. No one says it like Jon

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s